I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
