I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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