My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
