unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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