why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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