I've blown a few things in my day
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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