Someone shit on the floor
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
