My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
