i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize