Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
