Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
