I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
