I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
