ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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