coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There are leaves in my underwear?
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