$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
