He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
