so explain again why im purple
no
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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