K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
