He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
