just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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