so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
