Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
