its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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