So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm always down for nudity.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
