Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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