i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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