is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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