Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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