you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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