He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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