Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
