i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
