He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
