we have pet lesbian snakes
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize