Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
