i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
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