i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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