just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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