It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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