OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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