i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
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