I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
