I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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