Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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