I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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