There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
