just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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