8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
