Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
