I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
