btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
