So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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