He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
