i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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