tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
