I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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