She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
