I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Randomize
