I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i just google imaged poop.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Randomize
