i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
He better not be in your backpack
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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